What Else Can I Carry For You

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There were so many times when you made me say thank you for nothing

So many times you told me I should be grateful for something

But you didn’t see how fast I had to grow up

And everything that spilled from my overflowing cup

Yet you kept pouring, expecting me to carry so much for you

Slowly turning the world around me askew

Sometimes I think you just did your best, which is fair

But then I remember all the times you chose not to be there

Every time I looked for you through the faces of everyone

Expecting you to be there, but seeing no one

Every time someone else said congratulations

It only fueled my hate and frustrations

As I mature, I realize how much of you I admired at the time

But then remember all the choices you made that crossed the line

Every step I took that was my choice alone

Was always seen as a seed of failure I had sown

And when my dreams were crushed, and I had to pick up the pieces

It was you who came with no support, only speeches

Because in your eyes, every step I took out of line would lead to failure

Leaving me feeling alone, questioning my own behaviour

It took a long time to move past all the obligations

And allow myself to let go of all your expectations

I still worry I will make the same mistakes as you

And turn her world just as blue

But every day that I look into her eyes, so tough

I couldn’t imagine making her feel like she will never be enough